We all have things that we enjoy but are afraid that our friends will find out that we like them. There are also “secrets” that we keep– you know, the things that nobody believes about you, no matter how hard you try to convince them otherwise?
I’ve been thinking about these things for a while. While stalking my twitter-people, I saw a conversation (sorry I don’t remember who. If you were involved, let me know and I’ll add you) about being ashamed that he/she loved Avril Lavigne. It was said in jest– at least, I am hoping it was– but it triggered a thought in mah noggin. What do I love/do that I don’t really want people to know about? Then it expanded to the expectations that people have of me that I simply cannot comply with.
Then I thought of this…
Every one of us has some Michael Bolton in us. I thought I would share some of my eccentricities and dirty little secrets with you.
Music (Caution: Swears and Inappropriate, Irreverent Songs)
I am completely obsessed with songs with the word “fuck” in them, especially if the word is repeated multiple times. In the chorus. Over and over again. Yes. That’s right. When a song comes on dropping the f-bomb, I turn it up and sing it loudly (unless my daughter is in the car; if she is, I just skip it and pout a little).
I know, I know… I am a teacher and I should be above all of that. Well, tough tushies. I was a real-live person before I became a teacher. Some of my favorites in no particular order whatsoever:
- Lily Allen, “Fuck You”
- Cee-lo Green, “Fuck You”
- Beastie Boys, “Hey Fuck You”
- The High Speed Scene, “FUCKN’ Spend Money
- Methods of Mayhem, “Proposition Fuck You”
- Phunk Junkeez, “Thick Like Mornin’ Dick
- The Murmurs, “You Suck”
People see me as a mild-mannered reporter… oh, wait, that’s Clark Kent.
Nobody expects me to love swearing. Everyone seems to think that I’m innocent and unaware. I’m not. I usually save that side of me for people I trust.
Electronics
I love new technology. Probably unnaturally so. The gadgets… oh, yes. The gadgets. When I see a new one, I pull a Homer Simpson and start drooling. I pride myself on being able to figure out how to work any electronic gadget. It may take me a while, but I get it eventually.
I can never, ever remember how to turn on the DVD player.
There are sooo many buttons and remotes and inputs. I’d rather keep the tv off than try to figure it all out. My hubby has shown me how multiple times but it just doesn’t stick. So, I wait for him to get home when I want to watch something. Thank goodness he’s patient.
Television
Ancient Aliens. Finding Bigfoot. UFO Files. Ancient Discoveries. Brad Meltzer’s Decoded. UFO Hunters. Nostradamus Effect. Life after People. Monster Quest.
These are a few of my favorite things. I call them “pulp documentaries.” Even if I don’t believe everything that is presented, I find them incredibly entertaining.
Also, Ancient Aliens has Giorgio Tsoukalicious (or as I like to call him: Gorgeous Gorgio).
RAWR
Your turn:
I’ve bared some of my secrets. How about you? Will you share some of yours with me? If you do, I will share more of mine.
DOOO EEET.
Quietly Askew 
Ok fine. I really enjoy kitchen gadget stores. It started when (half joking) I told my wife I couldn’t fix brownies because the mix sack had to be cut open with scissors. Next time we were near one of those stores, we bought kitchen shears. I also bought the official set of Miracle Blades. She scoffed at that but we have been using them for ten years and they are still sharp.
As far as the swearing goes, I believe it is a necessary part of the language. How are we supposed to navigate our way through traffic without it?
Kitchen gadget stores are places that are easy to get lost in. Luckily I am able to resist their pull. I don’t really cook and would rather.spend my money on books.
The bad thing about being a teacher is that you never know who is around you. One innocent f-bomb in front of a parent in a public place could lead to being called into the office. Stinks. I still get my swearing in, though. Don’t tell anyone.
Thanks for your confession!
I think there’s a possibility I started the Avril Lavigne thing, because I mentioned the other day on Twitter I heard a song I really liked and when I searched who it was – Avril. And then I was embarrassed.
I ALSO love songs that say “fuck” in them! SO MUCH! One of my favorite things ever! Have you heard Martha Wainwrights “Bloody Motherfucking Asshole?” That’s a very good one. Also Damien Rice’s “Rootless Tree.” (An odd thing: sharing songs that have “fuck” in the lyrics in your comment section. Hee!)
Let’s see. Guilty pleasures. I like music that most people hate (showtunes, “Glee” covers of things, some – wait, this is awful – country music); I like awful shows like that new “90210” remake; and I eat more kid-food like chicken fingers and hot dogs than grown-up food. There. True confessions. 🙂
Now that you say it, I remember it being you with the Avril Lavigne. I have put those songs on my list to check out as soon as I can.
One of the best things about this post is the fact that I can write fuck and have a reason. It is essential to the blog.
Thank you for your confessions! It’s so nice to know that I am not the only one who has dirty little secrets. 🙂
You need to listen to Nick Cave’s ‘Murder Ballads’
Matt
I will look that up. Thanks for the suggestion. =)
🙂 Well we finally moved house – so I’m back online. Hope can catch up.
Matt
Yay! It will be nice to see you online. =)