Taking the Leap

Whelp… I resigned from my job. I wrote this super-long post explaining the reasons why and, I have to admit, it was a wee bit ranty. No, that isn’t accurate. It was a whole lot ranty and a little bit bitchy. I decided not to post it because it wasn’t me. I am usually only a little bit ranty and pretty much never bitchy. I didn’t want to post something completely out of character. It did feel really good to get it out of  my system, but it definitely was not something that I should share.

So, in case you are interested, I resigned because my philosophy about education no longer meshed with the district’s philosophy. Trying to change my beliefs to mesh with theirs was making me physically ill and preventing me from being the teacher I know I can be.

This is something that’s been coming for at least three years. At the end of each of those years, I’ve thought about resigning. Every year, the part of my brain that hates change convinced me not to. Just give it one more year, it said. Things are going to be so much better next year, just you wait! 

This year was different. When I thought about leaving at the end of this year, that part of my brain was a cheering section chanting “Do it! Do it! Do it!” All of the parts of my brain reached a consensus: it was time to move on.

The scary(?) part is that I have no anxiety about my decision. None. That’s right; little Miss Freak-out is completely calm about it. Friends ask me what I’m planning to do, their faces crinkled with concern. When I tell them I have no idea where I am going to work next year, they look at me in disbelief. I should be having a panic attack– that is what I usually do– and they wonder what in the world is wrong with me. I can see the concern in their eyes. I’ve put in applications for teaching positions. I’ve had one screening interview and another one scheduled for next week. If teaching doesn’t work out, I’ll sub until I find a job. I have backup plans for my backup plans. I know I will go where I need to go.

For the first time I can remember, I am relying– without fear– on the Universe to take care of me.

Light Echoes From Red Supergiant Star V838 Monocerotis – October 2004
Source: Hubblesite.org

8 thoughts on “Taking the Leap

  1. I am so so so so so happy for you!! It makes perfect sense to me that you are not stressed out or having a panic attack. That’s just a reflection of how bad the environment had become for you where you were teaching. I relate to this SO HARD, and I am so PROUD of you for taking this huge step to take care of yourself, no matter how counterintuitive other people think it. YAY YOU!!!! *glitter bombs* *confetti* *streamers*

    • Thank you. Things are working out well– there is a post coming about it. It is full of exciting adventure. I just have to get it down the way I want to tell it. =)

  2. I think you will do just fine and that your maturity is showing by not freaking out! You knew that it was right for you and your family to move on so you did it, congratulations for making a decision that is right for you. You know the saying that when one door closes another opens? I have found that to be true and that what is behind the new door is usually better for me than what I closed behind the old door. We keep you in our thoughts everyday and know that your decision was what was right for you!

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